Kicking myself while I'm down

Talk about kicking myself while I am down.  My husband is being a grump this evening and I spent over an hour getting up and down to take my daughter to the bathroom cause she kept telling me she had to go.  He snapped at me twice and finally when he went to bed I went to make the bed and he snapped " I dont care what you or she does, she can sleep on the floor for all I care".  I just said " sorry I am here" made the bed and walked out of the room. Maybe I am being a bitch...I dont know but what I do know is that everyday I wake up at 4 AM get ready, get lunches ready, get Kaylie up, feed her, say bye to david, take Kaylie to daycare, go to work, go home, make dinner, eat, entertain Kaylie, get her ready for bed, and put her to bed, do homework, sit in the same room as David while he games, he goes to bed, I stay up for an hour later, then I crawl into bed and do it all over again.

I kinda hate my boring, no me time life. I feel like I cant make David happy, or myself. I want so badly to start walking with david and kaylie but here it is 2 nights in and we still havent done it...Im about to turn 30 this weekend and I feel like a I am nothing. ugh! Ok guess i am done for the night.  On to another day.

Fourth of July Weekend

This weekend is looking good thus far.  I had Friday the 1st off from work, caught up on much needed sleep and finished my homework that was due.  Saturday David, Kaylie and I all went out to my momma and daddy's place.  We all went swimming, it was a blast! Kaylie thinks she can swim....she has no fear which scares me a little ok a lot! Today we are going to run errands such as Costco, Safeway, get David's car from Honda...then I guess I will also work on the clothes today.  Soooo do not wanna do that but it will make me feel better.  I also need to make pototoe salad for tomorrow, we are going up to Bonny Lake for the fourth.  We are spending time with my father-in-law, sister-in-law and her family and a few others.  We usually have a blast doing so...I just hope Kaylie does ok...the sleep depervation!

Lifestyle change not going so great....buuut I will get in the groove.  Slowly working on things trying to make changes.  Dinners portion sizes are getting smaller so that is a plus.  My nighttime snacking (between 8-10 pm) has not gone away yet.  I think I need to find something that I like to eat for that time of night that is semi-healthy...maybe popcorn? Hmmm

The beginning of my blogging

I not really a blogger but I thought this might be a good way for me to keep myself in check and to help myself express my thoughts about life in general a little more clearer.  With that said....

Tomorrow is the day I am going to start back on my healthier lifestyle kick...for me I have to have a routine.  So I will be doing a smoothie in the morning for my breakfast and a bagel thin sandwich with fat free cream cheese and ham.  I will also have some strawberries and blueberries with lunch too or for snack.  Dinner is always tricky but I will figure it out. 

The last two days I took a walk with my hubby David and daughter Kaylie.  Planning on continuing that along with work outs on my elliptical. 

I have started and stopped this kind of thing time and time again but I am hoping that this time works.  I feel my health declining, I am about to turn 30 and while growing older doesn't scare me, the thought of me not being able to fully enjoy life and my daughter growing up scares me and saddens me. 

Here is to what I hope will be a successful start to a healthier lifestyle!